Simple gratitude shifts to calm an anxious mind
When you’re anxious, the last thing you think about is being grateful. You may sigh at the thought of doing a gratitude journal as “just another thing to do.” I’m exploring easy ways to shift the anxious mind to gratitude to expand my perspective and bring a little lightness and joy into my days. (6.5.25.)
What blocks us from gratitude?
Whenever a group is asked to share something they’re grateful for, there’s often a collective sigh and awkward silence—“What am I grateful for?” followed by crickets.
Being put on the spot is tough. In a small group, most people say things like “coffee” or “family,” which are fine, but don’t always connect us deeply to real, full-body gratitude—the kind that stirs real appreciation and love.
I wonder if authors like Charlotte Brontë (1816-1855), who died at 38, ever dreamed of blogging. It was probably out of her realm of imagination. And yet, advancements make even more fantastical fantasies happen.
Sometimes what blocks gratitude is simply the rush to survive. In our busy modern lives—scrolling social media, chasing status, juggling bills and responsibilities—it’s easy to forget what truly matters.
With so much pressure to do more and be more, we rarely pause to feel the enough-ness of now. Gratitude opens up our eyes to what is possible again - if only we’d give ourselves a minute to wander and tap into thankfulness.
Gratitude journaling benefits
A study involving nearly 300 college students seeking mental health counselling found that those who wrote one gratitude letter per week for three weeks experienced significantly better mental health, both four and twelve weeks later, compared to those who wrote about negative experiences or received counselling alone.
This suggests that even a brief gratitude practice can enhance the benefits of therapy and support emotional well-being.
Researchers also uncovered early clues into how gratitude might positively affect the mind and body:
A shift from “me” to “we”: Participants who wrote gratitude letters used more positive and inclusive (“we”) words and fewer negative words than those who wrote about negative experiences, suggesting that gratitude writing boosts mental health by encouraging more positive, connected language.
Less toxic emotions: Using fewer negative emotion words suggests that gratitude writing may help by shifting focus away from toxic emotions like resentment or envy, making it harder to dwell on negativity.
Positive effects take time: The mental health benefits of gratitude writing in the study gradually increased over time, with participants reporting better mental health four weeks after the activity, and even greater improvements at 12 weeks. This suggests that gratitude writing has long-term benefits, though it may take time to notice significant changes. Patience is key, as the positive effects can accumulate gradually.
The anxious-to-thankful mindset
Today, my to-do list is making me anxious, with the pressure to finish everything before picking up the baby. It feels like there's a weight on my shoulders, pushing me to keep going without breaks, or else I’ll fall behind.
Telling me to “be more grateful” doesn’t help—I’ll just sigh, roll my eyes, and dive back into the list. Who has time for gratitude, right?
And yet, instead of coming from a place of panic and overwhelm I’m teaching myself to take a breath, focus on the next step, and stretch it out.
It’s natural to be on alert, worried and feeling behind, but that’s no way to live. I’m starting to tell myself:
“I am enough now (even when things feel chaotic, and a mess, and incomplete —I am enough). I can flow forwards.”
What do you need to tell yourself with you’re stressed and anxious?
Reframe past “failures” and setbacks
At the end of the day, we often focus on what we didn’t finish, what we skipped, or forgot, adding it to tomorrow’s to-do list.
Our minds naturally dwell on what we didn’t do, driven by negativity bias.
Instead, try reframing "failure" by recognising the lessons learned. Maybe your shortcomings are improving slowly. Or you’re more self-aware of what you’re working on.
Or maybe those big goals just need to be broken into smaller steps that work better with your life right now.
Questions to reframe daily “failures”
Regrets don’t have to be heavy and painful. They can also be full of growth and lifelong lessons, strengthening our resilience and resolve to do better next time.
Sources
Wong, J., & Brown, J. (2017, June 6). How gratitude changes you and your brain. Greater Good Magazine. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_gratitude_changes_you_and_your_brain