Today I had an emotional meltdown. Is it normal to cry from stress?
An emotional meltdown usually happens when stress becomes overwhelming. Repressing emotions for too long can lead to outbursts of crying, anger and panic. Seeing the signs when meltdowns are about to happen can help with soothing so we can meet our needs healthily. [19.2.25.]
Today I had a meltdown
This morning started like any other—wake up, shower, empty the dishwasher.
Feeling motivated, I put on my headphones and juggled breakfast, the baby’s lunch, and dinner prep. Everything was smooth until my partner casually mentioned he’d cook dinner.
I like to eat at 6 pm—after months of routine with the baby, it’s non-negotiable. But instead of arguing, I just kept cooking. Head down, get through it.
With music drowning out his little remarks, the day moved on. The baby danced with my partner while I made banana cake and prepped his dinner. Then came breakfast—most of which he spat out. I handed him his milk, which he promptly threw on the floor.
“This toddler really is starting to test my patience,” I thought.
Chronic stress is just another day
Later, after a battle to get my baby in the pram, I set off for the baby group—only to realise I’d forgotten an umbrella, and it was raining. No problem, “just keep going” I told myself.
Then I noticed—the milk bottle was gone. He must’ve tossed it somewhere along the way. I sighed, making a mental plan:
“Baby group, then a 30-minute walk into town to buy a new bottle, head home, prep lunch, eat, pack the umbrella, and then off to nursery.”
I stopped in the rain and burst into tears while the baby, oblivious, happily munched on an oat cookie—soon to be tossed on the floor.
I’d never had a public meltdown before, and it caught me off guard.
I took a breath, pulled myself together, and headed home. First, a new bottle—then back to the endless to-do list.
Just get through it & HALT
Today I began to wonder, “Why does motherhood feel like a marathon?” “Shouldn’t it be more joyful?” Recently my early morning starts were getting harder and I questioned whether I was tough enough to endure, get to the other side, or focus on finishing.
They say, don’t make decisions when you’re hungry, angry, lonely or tired (HALT) as we tend to make poor choices when our basic needs are unmet. When I had my emotional meltdown I was ALT or angry, lonely and tired (I wasn’t hungry for once). I know I can be emotional at these times but it goes beyond this.
Motherhood, grief, & the self-soothing act of crying
Once the baby was dropped off at the nursery I sat down for a three-minute meditation.
In the safe space of my room, I sat on the floor, and tears began to pour down my cheeks.
Crying is said to be self-soothing as it activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which helps people relax (Gračanin et al., 2014).
These tears are for the life I’ve lost—the grief of not being able to "do it all." The tension between my ambitions and my body’s limits are real. Just getting through the day comes with its struggles.
Grief has layers. Some days, I don’t recognise the new contours of my motherlike body. Other days, I miss lazy weekends or the freedom my childless friends still have. Hobbies feel like a distant memory.
Motherhood is full of joy and wonder, but also frustration, exhaustion, and the pressure to be everything to everyone. I am one woman!
These losses mark the fading of my old self. Crying helps. Studies even show that people feel better after crying when they have support, find meaning, or gain perspective.
I don’t know if I’ve found new wisdom yet, but I’m learning to be gentler with myself. I want to do it all, but sometimes I won’t—and that’s hard to accept. Still, I hold onto my mantra: "All things are possible to him that believes" (Mark 9:23).
Life transitions, milk bottles, & adjustment disorder
Adjustment disorder is said to be an emotional response to stressful events or transitions that last longer than six months.
It includes difficulty adapting to changes or coping with big life shifts that may lead to crying outbursts. While most people adapt to life changes within a few months, those with adjustment disorders struggle with ongoing anxiety or depression.
And yet, I’m wary of pathologising my struggles. Because it’s valid to struggle for more than six months as a mother. Motherhood is for life and it’s a brand-new experience. Similar to grief, motherhood is a non-linear process. It’s a journey of self-discovery to let go of control, accept the new nature, and reclaim what’s essential. It’ll all be ok. I just have to ride the meltdowns and multiple spilt milk bottles for now.