Accepting anxiety and taking action
We’ve all felt anxious at some point — whether it’s learning a new skill, taking a risk or starting a new life chapter. But what happens when that anxiety holds us back? Recently, I had a firsthand reminder of this when I went to a new yoga class.
Facing fear
I hurriedly arrived at the new yoga class. I hadn’t exercised in 15 months since having my baby. The instructor summoned me into the studio and told me I was interrupting the other students. I tried not to take it personally but anxiety was starting to creep into my body.
During the class, the instructor kept telling me I wasn’t listening and that I was in an “advanced class.” His strict style of teaching reminded me of my experience in a Catholic secondary school. One nun used to glower and stare when you made a mistake, which kept the class in a fearful silence the whole class. Usually, when I’m criticised, I internalise the comments, people-please, and try to be perfect. This time, I did something different.
I acknowledged I felt anxious (rather than avoiding anxiety in my body). I visualised a glass barrier between me and the teacher’s harsh tone. Each time he said something, I heard the comment but didn’t let it affect me. The words bounced off the glass and went back to the teacher. Hurt people hurt people with harsh comments and it’s often not about us.
Accepting mistakes
The other students stretched obediently to the teacher’s commands. The atmosphere was tense as each student concentrated on doing the moves perfectly as instructed. It began to feel like a military operation rather than a yoga class. “
“Yoga” comes from the Sanskrit root “Yuj,” meaning “to join” or “to unite.” There is a harmony of mind and body as our consciousness becomes more connected with a larger sense of universal consciousness. We begin to feel more connected to a larger environment. Yoga isn’t about being perfect. It’s about stretching and challenging our mind and body to work in unison.
The yoga teacher demanded perfection, but yoga (and life) is about balance and learning from mistakes. Once I tuned out his harsh comments, I could finally listen to myself. We all want to get things right on the first try, but guess what? I’m human—and that means I’m imperfect. I mess up, I can’t even pretend to want to be perfect anymore (even if an instructor demands me to be). The more I accepted anxiety was going to come, the less power it had over me. What we resist, persists—and that’s especially true with anxiety.
Release body tension
The yoga class revealed something important: I wasn’t there to be perfect—I needed space to breathe, make mistakes, and be myself. Trying to be someone I’m not, fearing mistakes, and worrying about others’ opinions only fuels anxiety. It’s a shortcut to stress, because not everyone will like or approve of us. Accepting that builds resilience.
I never returned to that strict instructor. His approach wasn’t for me. Walking home that night, I felt the tension melt away. Deep breaths released my need for perfection. It’s funny how environments shape our emotions—being in that studio triggered old habits of needing validation. But the key to releasing stress and anxiety is letting go of control, accepting uncertainty, and allowing ourselves to fail. That’s when we can truly breathe and be present to be our beautifully flawed selves.
TL;DR
When anxious we can imagine a glass barrier protecting ourselves from other’s negative, critical comments.
Accepting anxiety (rather than trying to repress or avoid it) allows us to learn through mistakes, decreasing anxious feelings.
We can never have 100% control or certainty. The more we deeply allow for uncertainty, the more space we give ourselves to respond mindfully to this moment.
✍️ Journal prompt
What’s one area I try to control or be perfect in? How can I let go and allow myself to make mistakes or face the unknown?