Holiday blues: depression and how somatic therapy can help
The holidays are a time to connect with loved ones but they can also feel overwhelming. Family dynamics, financial stress, the pressure to feel joyful, and last-minute shopping can stir up many emotions. I share somatic therapy tips to keep you grounded and mentally sane. [20.12.24.]
Grieving loved ones
Christmas time reminds me of joy, celebration and togetherness. I spend time with loved ones, share memories and of course, overindulge. And yet it’s a sad time with complicated family dynamics.
More than seven years ago, my father died of mouth and throat cancer. My baby boy is one and a half and he’ll never know his grandfather. Seeing my mother get older (she’s 76 years old) also reminds me of death and decline. We like to push uncomfortable truths to the back of our minds but this Christmas I’m acutely aware of loss.
I’m aware I overthink and feel low in winter, so I stay mindful of depression and thought loops. When they start, I ground myself by moving, walking, or simply saying “pause” to interrupt the cycle.
On another note, I've limited contact with a sibling due to past arguments. I’m tired of trying to revive a relationship that brings chaos and emotional strain. Loved ones tell me I should forgive but repeating unhealthy sibling dynamics brings stress and stifles growth.
As we grow older, naturally, we will lose relationships and friendships. People are deeply uncomfortable with putting emotional space between family members but for me, it’s an empowering step to moving forward. I choose the yellow rock communication style but some choose firmer boundaries like grey rocking.
Setting realistic standards
There are so many high expectations for Christmas. From cooking, presents, driving to loved ones, over-spending and the over-eating. It’s a dopamine dump of activity and often we’re seeking a picture-perfect notion of Christmas rather than a simple “let’s get together and connect” experience.
What grounds me is keeping it simple. The pressure to overspend (since someone might give a big present and I feel the pressure to reciprocate) is always there but I’ve reminded myself a minimal present with thought is valuable. I can also use guilt to overcook but cooking a few plates well is better than endless cooking and stress.
Holiday plans can overwhelm introverts, leaving us drained. This year, I’m embracing quiet days to reflect, set 2025 intentions, and reconnect with my faith. Instead of apologising for my introversion, I’m practising radical honesty—saying “no” to plans or taking breaks when needed.
Smokers take breaks without question, so why not introverts? Grabbing water, stepping outside for fresh air, or simply saying, “I need a breather,” are simple, effective ways to recharge.
Somatic ideas to keep grounded (and sane)
Somatic therapy (a holistic mind-body approach to healing) allows us to sense bodily sensations of stress and trauma, releasing this tension.
By self-regulating, we can become more aware of how our body holds stress, finding healthier ways to cope.
Grounding: When stressed we can anchor ourselves to the present moment by walking away from the trigger, closing our eyes and breathing deeply. We can imagine roots growing from our feet to the ground, letting us feel strong and stable despite the storms.
Self-soothing: When we feel numb or disconnected we tend to overeat, watch TV, and overspend (or any other addictive habit). Instead, we can self-soothe by massaging our necks, washing our faces with cold water, or listening to feel-good music.
Shake it out: We can stand and shake our arms, legs, and body to release adrenaline. Or simply stretch to interrupt a stress cycle or overthinking.