Scared to start therapy? 3 ways to get over your fear
Afraid to start therapy? Perhaps you’ve avoided uncomfortable feelings for a long time and are scared to open up traumatic memories. Or you have trust issues going back to childhood. Whatever you’re worries, here’s how to take the plunge and take the first step to starting therapy. [8.1.24.]
What you’ll learn
Challenge therapy myths: Challenge common misconceptions, such as "therapy is only for those with big problems" or "therapists blame parents," and gain a clearer understanding of therapy's real purpose.
Understand emotional patterns: Learn how childhood experiences can shape feelings, relationships and expectations. Start to unlearn conditioned beliefs and create more fulfilling habits.
Invest in your most authentic self: Therapy can be expensive but there are always alternatives such as support groups or finding a therapist that offers financial assistance. Allow yourself to prioritise your mental health.
1) Challenge therapy misconceptions
Perhaps you’ve heard, “therapy is for people with real problems,” or “therapists just blame the parents.” These misguided blanket statements may have stopped you from seeking mental health support. Know that it’s normal to have fears and worries about starting therapy because it’s new for you.
When we start something new, our minds jump to the worst-case scenario to protect ourselves. We might also use this as a stalling technique, keeping us stuck where we are (but safe and comfortable) as opposed to trying something new and potentially “failing.”
Instead of listening to misconceptions, start to challenge your negative thinking around therapy —asking yourself, “is this really true?” Common misconceptions could include:
Misconception 1: “Therapy is only for people with real mental health issues”
Reality: Therapy is for those who are experiencing life changes, or for those who want to improve their mental health and emotional well-being. Therapy is for all sorts of people, who are experiencing different life challenges.
Misconception 2: “Therapists just blame the parents”
Reality: Therapists don’t blame parents but seek to understand parental and child dynamics. Good therapists look at childhood behaviours, habits and thought patterns that may have shaped who you are today (as an adult).
Misconception 3: “Therapists will think I’m weak”
Reality: Therapists are trained mental health professionals. Their job is to support you in a non-judgmental way, and not to label you as “weak.” The client has the power to choose a good therapeutic “match” and a therapist who they feel safe with.
There are no doubt more misconceptions and myths about therapy but challenging them allows for a more nuanced truth to form. Try not to listen to outside noise and opinions surrounding therapy. The best thing is to try and experience therapy for yourself, forming your own idea of whether it’s useful for your mental health.
Many people start therapy initially a bit sceptical, particularly when it comes to exploring childhood issues. Even so, by delving into childhood experiences, we can see how it shapes how we view our own emotions, and key adult relationships.
Many emotional patterns and coping mechanisms are ingrained in us when we’re young, but as adults, we can challenge whether these ideas serve us or not. When we connect the dots from the past to the present, we get clarity on why we struggle to trust others.
2) Feel good about investing in yourself
Therapy can be expensive and it’s an investment. And yet, being anxious and depressed can put a dampener on our days. Podcasts, books and talking with loved ones can’t “fix us” or replace professional help. This is because often our loved ones see things from their own experiences and frustrations, giving us biased advice. They often want to keep us safe and protected so tell us what we want us to hear to “keep the peace.”
If we want to evolve and grow, we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable —and that starts with trying something new.
Our mental health is just as important as our physical health. Finances may stop us from seeking therapy but the longer we leave our emotional wounds, the worse it gets. “What we resist persists” as they say. If money is an issue, there are alternatives such as support groups, and financial assistance (where therapists offer discounts). When we feel good about investing in ourselves we begin to see possibilities and options.
3) Take up space: Your problems are not “too small”
Sometimes we view our problems as “small” and “not important enough.” This can be exacerbated by the fact that many of our issues may have been ignored or swept under the carpet in childhood.
Many people often wait until small problems become big problems before they seek therapy and mental health support.
The “inner critic” is our internal self-doubting voice that listens to fearful (often negative thoughts). This inner critic voice keeps us small and stops us from taking risks. By fearing rejection or criticism, we stay insecure, listening to outside options and conditioning, expecting ourselves to do things perfectly.
By listening to our inner critic we often judge our problems and dismiss them as “too small” and “too unimportant” to address. Like an untreated cut that becomes infected, emotional wounds also need care to heal properly.
Recognise that mental health issues are issues. There is no trauma Olympics and one person’s problems are not any more important than another’s if it’s affecting daily life, mental functioning and relationships. When we allow ourselves to take up space, we can face our fears and insecurities, work through emotional blocks, and grow.
As Carl Jung once said, “ Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”