Motherhood: using kind (not critical) self-talk

The journey into motherhood brings many changes to our hormones, mindset and energy levels. I share what practices I use to be kind (not critical) - allowing myself to embrace mistakes so I can let go of trying to be a perfect mom.

I am imperfect (not perfect)

As women, we often feel the need to be perfect and put others' needs above our own. Motherhood brings a big lifestyle shift, replacing our routines with caring for the baby 24/7. The pressure to be a “good mother” mixed with seeking validation can make us strive for perfection.

My baby is now 15 months old, and I’ve started to let go of opinions.

Being introverted, I need time to reflect. I now ask, “What do I think is best?” instead of immediately seeking outside validation.

Listening to my intuition ensures I lean into my rhythms, allowing myself to make mistakes. I’m releasing the idea that “things should be different/ easier” because that’s just fighting what is. This season of my life involves mess, sleepless nights and surprise stains. Ridding resistance and being ok with imperfection is a daily practice.

Affirmations:

1. I am doing my best and that is enough

2. I can make mistakes, learn and evolve

3. I am human - I fail and get back up again

I practice kind self-talk (not harsh self-talk)

Being kind to myself helps me model kindness for my child. But self-compassion hasn’t come naturally. I used to believe my inner voice needed to be like a drill sergeant because I thought I lacked self-discipline. I feared kindness would make me weak, but being hard on myself didn’t push me forward—it held me back. While guilt sometimes drives me to complete tasks, it’s not a sustainable strategy.

Self-compassion is about accepting my flaws without shaming myself into productivity. It’s seeing situations realistically and being flexible, rather than pressuring myself to perform perfectly.

I’ve shifted toward radical kindness—not making excuses, but setting realistic goals that don’t overwhelm me. Harsh self-talk fosters guilt and anxiety, while kind self-talk lets me experiment, fail, and move forward more healthily.

Affirmations:

1. I am more than my to-do list

2. I speak to myself with love

3. When things go wrong, I choose peace

Loving responses (not frustrated reactions)

When things don’t go as planned, I often get annoyed, and I know my baby hears my frustration. I don’t want to model reacting with anger when things go wrong, but being present is still a work in progress. My partner even wrote “be mindful” on our kitchen whiteboard as a daily reminder for me.

Anxiety often kicks in when I think about all the tasks I need to finish. It’s easy to get caught up in negative thoughts during setbacks instead of seeing the bigger picture. Mindfulness and calm responses require daily practice; some days I’m better at it than others. By shaking off frustration and staying grounded, I’m able to approach toddler tantrums with patience instead of reacting out of stress.

I’ve also noticed that I need me-time to unwind, move, or do something I enjoy. Setting aside time for myself fills my emotional cup.

Affirmations

1. I respond mindfully (catching myself when frustrated)

2. I model good behaviour for my child

3. I shake off frustration quickly

✍️ Journal prompt: When I hear my inner critic, how can I gently reframe those thoughts into supportive words?

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